Saying no to chocolate frosted cupcakes officially equals first world problems but then again so does finding the discipline to commit to your hustle.
This weeks episode features nationally recognized health and wellness coach Misty Lynn of @CoachMissT as she gives us her whole hearted advice on chocolate cupcakes, frosted men, & starting a health and wellness business.
5 SIGNS IT’S TIME TO RETHINK TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
One of the hardest alterations many people face on the way to reaching their goals and creating LIFE CHANGES is the realization that the people they’ve surrounded themselves with are negative influences.
So, you’re a first time entrepreneur. You have a brand new startup business. You aren’t even sure how you got here. It all happened so fast and now you’re freaking out!
YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
NOW LISTEN! @_thehustlHER
There are countless numbers of productivity exercises out there. Every single day, dozens, possibly hundreds of articles are published on how to get more completed, both in work and life in general.
It’s completely overwhelming.
If I were to spend the time reading all those new articles and books, I’d have absolutely no time to get anything valuable finished. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed — like you don’t have enough time or like you should be getting more finished — or even where’s the best place to start?
In order to be more productive, you first have to know how you’re spending every minute of the day. So, you say you need to get more finished- or you don’t have enough time for everything, but when you actually track activity, you quickly realize you’re spending 60 minutes a day on Instagram. And the remedy seems pretty obvious from there, right?
"I spent the last few months tracking my productivity and I have to say a light bulb has gone off about how I spend my time, and what to do to make better use of it."
If you’re in an environment where majority of your day is governed by appointments this activity may not be the best option for your working time management. But, if you feel as though your nights and weekends continually slip by in a haze of social platforms and Netflix, and aren’t as edifying or enriching as you’d like, you can absolutely apply these principles to your personal life.
One of the reasons time management is so difficult is that time itself is ambiguous. You can’t see it; it’s abstract; even scientists are still trying to figure this shit out!
BUT-For us to get a better grip on time we’re going to think about it like something more objective, like food!
We all love food. The tendency to get distracted is comparable to craving ice cream of junk food. And, a lack of productivity is like those few extra pounds we hate around our waist. So what’s the solution you ask? Activity Logs, aka, keeping a food diary.
Studies show keeping a food journal over the course of several weeks, even months is one of the most irrefutable ways to lose weight. In fact, showed that those who kept a record — either paper or digital or even photographic — of what they ate in the course of an entire day lost twice as much weight as those who didn’t. CRAZY! I KNOW!
Building awareness of what you’re putting into your body; the snacking, ordering dessert regularly, doesn’t seem like much until you have to document everything that crosses your lips. When you scarf down a giant Cheeseburger and dump the evidence before walking in the door, that moment disappears from your consciousness. However- Once you write that burger down, it becomes real. It happened! You have to fess up to it!
So what I'm saying- With a mix of consciousness, a healthy amount of shame, and accountability make up the fact that food diary keepers lose weight much more effectively, almost 2x more effective to be exact.
"The same exact benefits apply to keeping a record of how you spend your hours. So if you want to start flexin’ on those productivity abs, you better start tracking your time, babe!"
Tracking your time. Sounds sexy, right? NOPE! It's meticulous and ironically time consuming in itself. Tracking of your minutes and hours throughout the day over the course of a couple weeks, or even months is just like any other up-front investment, you’ll reap those rewards for decades to come.
Utilize this 168 HOUR TIME TRACKER, originally created by Laura Vanderkam.
Now that we’ve discovered the benefits of time-tracking, let’s get into the nitty gritty about how to actually do so to make the most of it.
This Success Pack is perfect for the hustler-on-the-go!
We've all lost our patience at one point, or another. Someone makes us late; people are too slow; things aren't happing as quickly as we think they should, all of these things can cause us to lose our patience. And while our reactions may seem justified at the time, the truth is, that being impatient can mess up our relationships with others.
"Patient people are less stressed as they go through life."
I used to be a bundle of stress & anxiety walking around. I was always on my phone, "working," stressed about God knows what, and pretty overwhelmed. I had allowed my business to take over my life. I was doing most of the work myself, because I was such a control freak I didn't trust anyone to do it "correctly."
When it was brought to my attention, I immediately made some changes and continue to practice my patience. Through this journey I did a ton of research on how to adjust my mind over matter and why people behave the way they do.
Patient people are less stressed as they go through life. They aren't ruffled by little things and can cope with situations easier than those who lack. When we're patient, we experience feelings of calm and peacefulness. We aren't as easily angered or stressed by situations, but rather are able to take them in stride. When we're caught in traffic, we don’t yell and rage, but rather accept our fate and remain calm for the rest of our journey.
I can personally attest to this. Since implementing this tips my stress meter has gone way down and my happiness meter is at an all time high.
The truth is, patience is a skill. It's not something we're innately born with, but rather something we cultivate over time.
When we become impatient, our body starts to stress. As a result, stress hormones are released, and we experience physical symptoms. Our chests may feel tight; our breathing might increase; our muscles might tense, and we may experience feelings of anxiety or nervousness. Once we recognize all of these physical manifestations as symptoms of impatience, we can begin to recognize what is occurring.
Before you can work on improving your patience, it is important to identify what makes you impatient.
Check out my guide below to discovering your triggers.
Check out these strategies for improving your patience:
I'm not sure if it's "ADHD," just the way I'm made, or maybe a bit of BOTH, but I have FINALLY come to accept that I am none other than a Multi-passionate entrepreneur! Or as I prefer to say, #HustleHER!
Do you ever feel called in more than one direction? Have you ever had a hard time answering the question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Do you get bored doing the same thing every day? Are you highly skilled in more than one area?
I GET IT! I'm right there with you!
My entire life I have been coming up with ideas, suggestions, & innovations. I constantly crave more information and have a quest to dive into something new and exciting.
As a creative especially, this topic hits home and hits home HARD! People are always telling me to focus on ONE THING. Questioning why I need to explore more interests, earn more certifications, pivot my business when I can just focus on doing one thing really well and make a ton of money?
"Why don't you put your energy into that "one thing" and then you will truly become successful!"
Sorry Sis, but that's not necessarily realistic- but second of all, it's just not the life for me.
The reason we feel called in more than one direction, and have a hard time answering questions, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Is because we think we have to choose between all the things we want to do, be, and create.
We think we have to have a business that looks just like Super Successful Susan’s, because she’s making a lot of money doing one focused thing. Because society told us we have to pick a career or a niche and hyper focus. But it’s so far from the truth. Not every business is able to be hyper focused, and that’s okay.
Stop trying to focus on one area. Stop trying to make that ONE THING your only focus. It’s not going to happen. Focusing on one thing is not the only way to be successful, and it’s definitely not the way to be happy. Trust me, let it go.
It is more than possible to have more than one passion, launch a passion project, & become wildly successful. There are plenty successful entrepreneurs living their best Multi-passionate Life right now! The key is to maintain a level of organization that both allows you to thrive passionately and reach attainable goals simultaneously. You can make as much money, if not more, than the next person by fueling off your passions.
Check back NEXT MONDAY to get the #HustleHER Guide to being ORGANIZED IN YOUR MULTI-PASSIONATE BUSINESS!
5 SIGNS IT'S TIME TO RETHINK TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
So you want to change your life. You want to reach goals. You wanna make moves in a different direction. Well wake up sister, because you can create LIFE CHANGES NOW. They say, "You are who you hang around" or "You become like the company you keep."
NEWS FLASH!!! ⇒ IT'S TRUE! and unfortunately we aren't going to come to this realization overnight!
I get it, the idea of this sounds great, but the reality is, this is one tough cookie to tackle! One of the hardest alterations many people face on the way to reaching their goals and creating LIFE CHANGES is the realization that the people they’ve surrounded themselves with are negative influences.
I'm always telling myself, people come into our lives for different reasons and different seasons. Bottom line, it sucks when someone leaves your life or you have to leave theirs. But shit happens and truth is, life goes on, and eventually we see the beauty of the underlying outcome.
#1 RECIPROCITY: STOP DOING ALL THE WORK
I completely SUCK at this! I'm a giver by nature, so I'm usually the one doing the inviting which leads me to get let down pretty frequently. UNTIL...I learned what reciprocity truly meant, started incorporating it into my personal and professional relationships, and magically discovered kind of suck.. And it’s time for some LIFE CHANGES.
It's 2018! We live in a world where technology is at the forefront of EVERYTHING we do. It takes less than 5 seconds to respond to a text. If someone can't take the time out of their "busy" life to respond or even just check in on you, I hate to tell you, but you're ju
st not that important to them. Life happens and of course we become busy and burdened by responsibilities. The truth is, true friends will try to spend time with you. If they can’t do that, then it’s best to move on and recognize this is a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.
#2 YOU FEEL DRAINED EVERY TIME YOU HANG
As hard as it is for me to admit it, I have most definitely been guilty of this one. I'm sure we all have. We all go through phases in our lives where we aren't in the greatest place, and if you've known someone a while you both have had your fair share of ups and downs. When it comes to HEALTHY relationships, the best relationships and friendships are there for you during the most difficult situations without question.
⇒ Let me be clear here people. ⇔ For F*ck sake, do not, I repeat, DO NOT confuse a rough patch for a "debbie downer." Don't go abandoning your girlfriend, brother, best friend, cousin twice removed because they are going through a tough situation and need their moments of venting. Instead, learn to be a great listener, and set your boundaries for yourself on when and when not to be around this person. BEFORE cutting anyone off, Please suggest getting them some help or working with a specialist.
Signs of the "Negative Nancy!" aka “Toxic People” They always seem to suck the energy out of you. Friends like these are toxic. They are usually negative, judgmental, and seem to be using you as a personal therapist to deal with every single issue. They consistently causing drama or are the center of the drama. There never is a positive outcome to anything. They constantly play the victim and never apologize for their actions.
This is extremely draining. Cut these types of “toxic relationships” off before their negativity rubs off on you. Have some respect for yourself. You are not a personal punching bag.
#3 BAD NEWS BEARS - CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT• CHANGE YOUR LIFE
We meet people from all walks of life typically in the places we hang around most, but it's how they influence you that truly matters. Take a look at your inner circle and ask yourself these questions:
Truth be told you can meet people anywhere, but if you are noticing a pattern in your relationships, change your surroundings. Your environment has a lot to do with the people you meet. Try going somewhere new and I bet you will notice an entire difference.
#4 I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG
If someone can not accept the fact that they are not right all of the time, no matter how much evidence or proof is present, then this is a sign they ARE probably a toxic and you need to re-evaluate your life changes.
Keep in mind that many people who are insecure or deeply hurt may behave this way as well, but if it is becoming a theme in the relationship or friendship, try looking elsewhere and make critical changes.
Plus who wants to hangout with a know it all, ALL THE TIME! These people can be extremely combative and argumentative.
#5 CONTINUAL CRITICIZING
I'm a pretty forward person and appreciate direct communication, but it's not for everyone. I've had to learn how to be direct with my communication, while also being MINDFUL of the delivery. However, there is a big difference when someone who cares about you shoots you straight and gives you advice when it’s needed, but it’s a completely different ball game when a person is criticizing you regularly. If there is someone in your life that is criticizing you all the time, judging you, and giving you unasked for advice, it is probably not you, but them.
This would certainly be considered a toxic relationship and you would need to approach the situation to make them aware. But, if it continues, eliminating toxic relationships can be a blessing.
⇒ WHAT TO DO NOW?
It's never easy coming to peace with separation. Before making any major decisions, make sure you have a calm rational conversation with the person first. They may not be aware of their behavior and may appreciate the feedback.
CHECK OUT THIS EXERCISE TO HELP YOU DISCOVER YOUR A TEAM.