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happiness Tag

Saying no to chocolate frosted cupcakes officially equals first world problems but then again so does finding the discipline to commit to your hustle.

This weeks episode features nationally recognized health and wellness coach Misty Lynn of @CoachMissT as she gives us her whole hearted advice on chocolate cupcakes, frosted men, & starting a health and wellness business.

 

5 SIGNS IT’S TIME TO RETHINK TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

One of the hardest alterations many people face on the way to reaching their goals and creating LIFE CHANGES is the realization that the people they’ve surrounded themselves with are negative influences.

 

 

There are countless numbers of productivity exercises out there. Every single day, dozens, possibly hundreds of articles are published on how to get more completed, both in work and life in general.

It’s completely overwhelming.

 

If I were to spend the time reading all those new articles and books, I’d have absolutely no time to get anything valuable finished. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed like you don’t have enough time or like you should be getting more finished — or even where’s the best place to start?

Well, why not at the root of it?

In order to be more productive, you first have to know how you’re spending every minute of the day. So, you say you need to get more finished- or you don’t have enough time for everything, but when you actually track activity, you quickly realize you’re spending 60 minutes a day on Instagram. And the remedy seems pretty obvious from there, right?

"I spent the last few months tracking my productivity and I have to say a light bulb has gone off about how I spend my time, and what to do to make better use of it."

If you’re in an environment where majority of your day is governed by appointments this activity may not be the best option for your working time management. But, if you feel as though your nights and weekends continually slip by in a haze of social platforms and Netflix, and aren’t as edifying or enriching as you’d like, you can absolutely apply these principles to your personal life.

This training helps you take control of your hours and stop feeling lost at the end of the day, and get a grip on life!

WANT TO GET A HANDLE ON TIME? TREAT IT LIKE FOOD!

 

One of the reasons time management is so difficult is that time itself is ambiguous. You can’t see it; it’s abstract; even scientists are still trying to figure this shit out!

BUT-For us to get a better grip on time we’re going to think about it like something more objective, like food!

We all love food. The tendency to get distracted is comparable to craving ice cream of junk food.  And, a lack of productivity is like those few extra pounds we hate around our waist. So what’s the solution you ask? Activity Logs, aka, keeping a food diary.

Studies show keeping a food journal over the course of several weeks, even months is one of the most irrefutable ways to lose weight. In fact, showed that those who kept a record — either paper or digital or even photographic — of what they ate in the course of an entire day lost twice as much weight as those who didn’t. CRAZY! I KNOW!

Why is it so effective?

Building awareness of what you’re putting into your body; the snacking, ordering dessert regularly, doesn’t seem like much until you have to document everything that crosses your lips. When you scarf down a giant Cheeseburger and dump the evidence before walking in the door, that moment disappears from your consciousness. However- Once you write that burger down, it becomes real. It happened! You have to fess up to it!

 

 

So what I'm saying- With a mix of consciousness, a healthy amount of shame,  and accountability make up the fact that food diary keepers lose weight much more effectively, almost 2x more effective to be exact.

"The same exact benefits apply to keeping a record of how you spend your hours. So if you want to start flexin’ on those productivity abs, you better start tracking your time, babe!"

    

WANT TO GET MORE FINISHED? THE BENEFITS BELOW

Tracking your time. Sounds sexy, right? NOPE! It's meticulous and ironically time consuming in itself. Tracking of your minutes and hours throughout the day over the course of a couple weeks, or even months is just like any other up-front investment, you’ll reap those rewards for decades to come.

REASONS WHY:

  1. IN ORDER TO BUILD A HOUSE, YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE FOUNDATION
  2. STOP OVERESTIMATING TIME LENGTHS
  3. STOP UNDERESTIMATING ACTIONABLE TASKS
  4. KEEPS YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE
  5. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU: START DOING ONE TASK AT A TIME

Let's Start Tracking! FREE DOWNLOAD

 Utilize this 168 HOUR TIME TRACKER, originally created by Laura Vanderkam.

MORE TIME TRACKING TOOLS

Now that we’ve discovered the benefits of time-tracking, let’s get into the nitty gritty about how to actually do so to make the most of it.

This Success Pack is perfect for the hustler-on-the-go! 

IT INCLUDES:

  • 168 hour analog
  • Activity Log Module & In-depth explanation
  • AUDIO RECORDING- how to manage time SUCCESSFULLY
  • 6 Digital Downloads for Time Management
  • Subscription to our weekly pod-cast direct to you!

5 SIGNS IT'S TIME TO RETHINK TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

So you want to change your life.  You want to reach goals.  You wanna make moves in a different direction.  Well wake up sister, because you can create LIFE CHANGES NOW. They say, "You are who you hang around" or  "You become like the company you keep."

NEWS FLASH!!! ⇒ IT'S TRUE!  and unfortunately we aren't going to come to this realization overnight! 

I get it, the idea of this sounds great, but the reality is, this is one tough cookie to tackle! One of the hardest alterations many people face on the way to reaching their goals and creating LIFE CHANGES is the realization that the people they’ve surrounded themselves with are negative influences.

I'm always telling myself, people come into our lives for different reasons and different seasons. Bottom line, it sucks when someone leaves your life or you have to leave theirs.  But shit happens and truth is, life goes on, and eventually we see the beauty of the underlying outcome.

#1 RECIPROCITY: STOP DOING ALL THE WORK

I completely SUCK at this! I'm a giver by nature, so I'm usually the one doing the inviting which leads me to get let down pretty frequently. UNTIL...I learned what reciprocity truly meant, started incorporating it into my personal and professional relationships, and magically discovered kind of suck.. And it’s time for some LIFE CHANGES.

It's 2018!  We live in a world where technology is at the forefront of EVERYTHING we do.  It takes less than 5 seconds to respond to a text.  If someone can't take the time out of their "busy" life to respond or even just check in on you, I hate to tell you, but you're ju

st not that important to them.  Life happens and of course we become busy and burdened by responsibilities. The truth is, true friends will try to spend time with you.  If they can’t do that, then it’s best to move on and recognize this is a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.

#2 YOU FEEL DRAINED EVERY TIME YOU HANG

As hard as it is for me to admit it, I have most definitely been guilty of this one.  I'm sure we all have. We all go through phases in our lives where we aren't in the greatest place, and if you've known someone a while you both have had your fair share of ups and downs.  When it comes to HEALTHY relationships, the best relationships and friendships are there for you during the most difficult situations without question.

⇒ Let me be clear here people. ⇔  For F*ck sake, do not, I repeat, DO NOT confuse a rough patch for a "debbie downer."   Don't go abandoning your girlfriend, brother, best friend, cousin twice removed because they are going through a tough situation and need their moments of venting.  Instead, learn to be a great listener, and set your boundaries for yourself on when and when not to be around this person.  BEFORE cutting anyone off, Please suggest getting them some help or working with a specialist.

 

Signs of the "Negative Nancy!"  aka “Toxic People” They always seem to suck the energy out of you.  Friends like these are toxic. They are usually negative, judgmental, and seem to be using you as a personal therapist to deal with every single issue.  They consistently causing drama or are the center of the drama. There never is a positive outcome to anything. They constantly play the victim and never apologize for their actions.

This is extremely draining. Cut these types of “toxic relationships” off before their negativity rubs off on you. Have some respect for yourself. You are not a personal punching bag.

#3 BAD NEWS BEARS - CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT• CHANGE YOUR LIFE

We meet people from all walks of life typically in the places we hang around most, but it's how they influence you that truly matters.  Take a look at your inner circle and ask yourself these questions: 

  • Are they challenging me to be the best version of myself possible?
  • Do we constantly have drama?
  • Can we mix business and fun?
  • Am I surrounding myself with success?

Truth be told you can meet people anywhere, but if you are noticing a pattern in your relationships, change your surroundings.  Your environment has a lot to do with the people you meet.  Try going somewhere new and I bet you will notice an entire difference.

#4 I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG

If someone can not accept the fact that they are not right all of the time, no matter how much evidence or proof is present, then this is a sign they ARE probably a toxic and you need to re-evaluate your life changes.

Keep in mind that many people who are insecure or deeply hurt may behave this way as well, but if it is becoming a theme in the relationship or friendship, try looking elsewhere and make critical changes.

Plus who wants to hangout with a know it all, ALL THE TIME!  These people can be extremely combative and argumentative.

 

#5 CONTINUAL CRITICIZING

I'm a pretty forward person and appreciate direct communication, but it's not for everyone.  I've had to learn how to be direct with my communication, while also being MINDFUL of the delivery.  However, there is a big difference when someone who cares about you shoots you straight and gives you advice when it’s needed, but it’s a completely different ball game when a person is criticizing you regularly. If there is someone in your life that is criticizing you all the time, judging you, and giving you unasked for advice, it is probably not you, but them.

 This would certainly be considered a toxic relationship and you would need to approach the situation to make them aware. But, if it continues, eliminating toxic relationships can be a blessing.

⇒ WHAT TO DO NOW? 

It's never easy coming to peace with separation.  Before making any major decisions, make sure you have a calm rational conversation with the person first.  They may not be aware of their behavior and may appreciate the feedback.

CHECK OUT THIS EXERCISE TO HELP YOU DISCOVER YOUR A TEAM.

Let’s face it, we all are going through something in one way or another.  We all have bills, some of us have kids, families, significant others.  Some are struggling at work, while others are thriving.  I know I have had my fair share of bullsh*t in my life, which led me to do some heavy self-reflecting over the past few years.  At first, I sat here contemplating if I was even qualified to write the article because of all the craziness I have experienced throughout my life.  Then I realized, “HELL YES I AM!” If there is one thing I have been consistent about, it’s overcoming adversity and finding my joy through all of the Bullsh*t!  I find if I input these things into my life in one way or another, my level of stress and anxiety goes down and my joy meter goes up!


 

  1. Chill Out Dude.    Drop what you’re doing right now and just breathe. In and out, in and out. Good! We live in a society where we get too busy to just be. Causing us to only exist instead of actually live.  I have been victim of this my entire life.  I’m a serial-workaholic! A single-mom! An over-achiever! A people pleaser! Until one day I came crashing down, and I crashed hard.  I had to learn the hard way to just relax and breathe. I needed to learn to find balance in order to find my joy. I highly recommend getting into meditation and working on breathe work. 
  2. Get Over it.    I know, it sounds harsh and insensitive, I get it, but it’s reality.  We get in these phases where we feel completely stuck in our situation or the past.  People have done you wrong, hurt your feelings, broken your heart, impaired you in one way or another. I get it, I’ve been there, and I’m totally with you on this one. The truth of the matter is, at this point, the only one hurting you is you.  Allowing yourself to be consumed by such negative energy only hinders yourself from growth.  It doesn’t help to keep a tight grip on those grudges either.  Trust me, the universe works in mysterious ways.  You may not see the silver lining now, but in time it will come to the surface.  It’s time to forgive them and to forgive yourself.
  3. Fuel the Fire.     What makes your pulse come alive? What do you firmly believe in and could talk about all day long? Dive deep inside yourself and find what that is and run with it.  If you’re reading this one and think to yourself, I have no flipping idea!, then it’s time to do some soul searching, try new things, and discover your inner FLAME.  People make the mistake of thinking our passion has to be our career.  That’s not what I’m referring to here.  I’m talking about things you do that make you genuinely happy. Your passion isn’t your escape.  It’s what keeps us going.  It is the fuel to your fire.
  4. The Giving Tree.     Always loved this book as a kid.  It taught us the wonderful lesson of generosity.  As humans it is in our nature to want attention, love, and support.  I was always thinking I couldn’t begin my life until I got everything I thought I needed.  Rude awakening, when it all disappears over night.  Let’s get real people, consider that you may not actually need what you think you need, instead it is just something that you really want. Keeping up with the “Jones’s” is cool, but living a generous life is cooler. I’m a solid believer that you have to give to get.  Give out to others what you want or need. Pull out the stops in offering attention, interest, and care.  Do something for someone besides yourself.  It’s remarkably rewarding.  Believing you can’t give enough becomes love overflowing.
  5. Find your homies.     Have you ever taken a moment, looked around at the people surrounding you and thought, “Damn. I love these people!”  or maybe it was the opposite.  Maybe you thought to yourself, “Why am I here?  Why do I continue to find myself in this circle of drama?”  It’s cool, I’ve been in both places before so I completely understand.  I’ve also felt extremely alone at times as if no one in the world understands me.  This is the circle of life my friends.  Although life can seem lonely at times, I want you to really be grateful for specific people who are willing to listen to you when you need them. If you’re stuck in a group of friends who can be manipulative, controlling, and just a bad influence then it’s time to make some difficult decisions.  Often times toxic people make these decisions for us subconsciously and we aren’t able to recognize it right away.  When we finally step away from these draining connections, it can be freeing!
  6. Get Creative.      No matter what your talents, skills or desires, getting creative is a great way to find joy. Whether you write, draw, sing or decorate a cake, developing a skill that utilizes your imagination is going to bring you tons of happiness.  Besides, who cares if you “suck” at it! It’s fun!
  7. Be Your Authentic Awesome Self.     We live in a world where we are surrounded by ideals, and with a tendency to compare ourselves to others, it’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re not enough.  I’d tell myself that makeup was a hobby, not a “real job.” I sought approval through promotions and success through status, neither of which made me happy.  To find joy, we must be true to ourselves, create our own dreams, and be proud of what makes us unique. So, instead of comparing yourself to others, look to see if you’re fulfilling your own potential in accordance with what you value most.
  8. Be a Big Kid.     Remember what it was like to play as a child? Many of those things that brought you pleasure then still can today – but as a grown up, we often lose touch with that. Think about what made you happy when you were six or seven. Rolling down a grassy hill? Playing with your dog? Dancing to silly music? Give yourself permission to experience that again.
  9. Follow the yellow brick road.     Sometimes we’d like to change things, but it’s just too hard. We know we’re unhappy where we are, but the alternatives are too scary. Familiar feels secure, even if it doesn’t make us happy. For me, changing careers, leaving a relationship, and ending a business all left me clenched with fear.  I was afraid of failure. But it’s only by facing these fears that we are able to grow into the people we’re capable of being.  To get somewhere you’ve never been, you might have to do something you’ve never done. Life begins at the end of our comfort zone!
  10. Find your Flex. Learn from experiences.   To be joyful, it is critical that we embrace tough times, too. They come to us all. It’s how we deal with them and bounce back that impacts our happiness. This is our resilience, our “flex”.  We spend much of our time trying to avoid the bad times and cling to the good, yet both will always come and go. Embracing this and shifting our perspective is key to creating joy.